i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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