yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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