i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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