I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
