it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
