I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
