Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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