I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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