just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
