You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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