I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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