In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize