Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
