i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just found a bag of teeth...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
