If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
