3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
