Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
