her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
