similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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