just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize