were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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