Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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