Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
