Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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