At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
