I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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