but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Less talking, more tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
