I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
