He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
