STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
