I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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