we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
