omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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