she was so not down for the gang bang
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
