he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
