what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
