Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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