two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
