Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
