So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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