I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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