i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize