Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
