this beer tastes like vomit already
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
