She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
