Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
