Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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