I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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