I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
