RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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