Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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