We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
