Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
where does the pee come out of this thing
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
