Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
