I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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