Having a random hookup so left but love u
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
