R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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