We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
