i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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