is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize