thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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