I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she smelled like a LAN party
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i believe in u and ur pee
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
