I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
