did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
