we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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