I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He passed out mid-signature
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
