Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
