Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
