She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
