This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
