Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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