Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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