Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
