im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
