How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
