I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
