There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just google imaged poop.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
