I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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