Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
