took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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