DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
